Johnny's Java Cafe - A One Act Play

Setting
A beautiful, Sunday morning in Cotati, California. The main character, Pam, has just been shopping at Lowe’s. She knows there is a coffee café nearby. On her way home, she decides to get a cup of coffee. Well actually, a double shot of espresso in a 16 oz. cup of coffee with a little steamed milk.

Cast
Pam – In a good mood, she just found what she needed at Lowe’s and it is a sunny, California winter day.
Cranky Man – The manager, or perhaps the owner, of Johnny’s Java Café.
Cute Cashier – An almost-20-something, pleasant female; her first day on the job.
Barista – A female, experienced in her job.
Mocha Man – Customer waiting for his coffee beverage.

Act I
Pam walks in the front door of Johnny’s Java Café. There are a few customers sitting comfortably at different tables near the windows engaged in quiet conversation, contemplation, or reading the newspaper. There is a pleasant cafe atmosphere. Pam approaches the cashier while scanning the menu board. Cranky Man is at the cold case 2 feet to the right of Cute Cashier. Cranky Man seems quite busy moving things around. Barista is at her station 4 feet to the left of Cute Cashier. In other words Cranky Man, Cute Cashier and Barista are well within earshot of each other.

Cute Cashier: Good morning (with a smile).

Pam: Good morning (with a smile). I see you have a Johnny’s Jolt. Is that a shot of espresso in a cup of coffee?

Cute Cashier: Yes.

Pam: Okay, I’ll have a 16 ounce, double shot Johnny’s Jolt with a little steamed milk.

(Cute Cashier rings in a “Grande” Johnny’s Jolt. Cute Cashier writes something on an empty 16-oz. cup; then, her brow furrows as she looks at the cash register and thinks about what she should do next.)

Cute Cashier: Cranky Man, what do I enter for steamed milk?

Cranky Man: What? Why? What do you mean? (Cranky man snatches the 16-oz. cup from Cute Cashier’s hand.)

Cranky Man (pointing to the writing on the cup): This won’t work, she (referring to Barista who is 4 feet away and has heard the entire conversation to this point) won’t know what you mean. (He writes something on the cup and sets it on the counter next to espresso machine - just like they do at Starbucks.)

Cranky Man: Ring in 60 cents. Wait. The customer adds the coffee to the espresso. (Maybe he thinks Pam thinks she'll give the full cup back to Barista to have the steamed milk added?)

Pam (smiling at nervous Cute Cashier and directing comment to Barista): No problem, whatever is in the steam pot is fine. Just pour it on top of the espresso. Cold milk cools the coffee so I like to add warm milk.

Pam: I’m going to get a pastry, too. (picks up a piece of non-fat apple bread that weighs about ½ ounce and is less than ½ inch thick)

Cranky Man: Well, we aren’t busy right now so I’ll do it. If we were busy I wouldn’t do it.

Pam (wanting to say to Cranky Man but doesn’t): Gee, even at Burger King you can have it your way.

Cute Cashier: That will be $5.75.

(Pam nervously fumbles with her wallet trying to find the exact change. She looks behind her expecting a throng of customers to be pouring through the door to disrupt the "not busy" rule. Finding the correct amount, Pam hands $5.75 to Cute Cashier.)

Cute Cashier: Thank You.

(Pam puts $1.00 in the tip jar to silently assure Cute Cashier that she's not responsible for Cranky Man's rude behaviour.)

Cute Cashier: Thank You.

(Cute Cashier and Barista seem embarrassed by Cranky Man’s attitude. Pam moves to the “drink pick-up” counter – this place seems more and more like Starbucks by the minute – to wait for her coffee.)

Barista (Holding up a very tall hot beverage): Vente, non-fat, double-shot, half-caf mocha with ½ the chocolate.

Pam (thinking to herself): Boy, this place is really a Starbucks wanna-be.

(Mocha Man steps to the "drink pick-up" counter to retreive his Vente, non-fat, double-shot, half-caf mocha with 1/2 the chocolate.)

Mocha Man (raising his drink towards Cranky Man): Thanks, Bruce

Cranky Man (pleasantly): Thank You. See you again.

(Apparently invisible, Barista picks up Pam’s 16-oz. empty cup and begins to prepare the drink. Barista adds steamed milk to the espresso and turns to Pam.)

Barista: Is this okay?

Pam: Perfect. See? Not too complicated. (Thinking to herself - compared to Mocha Man's drink which needed 12 words to describe.)

(Barista smiles as she hands the drink to Pam.)

Cranky Man (speaking to Pam from the cold case, loud enough for all to hear): Not too complicated for you. If it was busy in here I would have said we wouldn't do it.

Pam: In which case I would have turned around and left.

Cranky Man: That would be your option.

Pam: It's never a problem when I order this at other coffee cafes.

Cranky Man: Well then that’s where you should go.

Pam: I’ll remember that next time.

(Pam leaves, shaking her head and wondering if this Café is so successful that the manager doesn’t need to set a good example of customer service.)

Later that day… Pam picks up her empty Johnny’s Java cup to throw away and notices the following message –

“Our mission is to enrich people’s lives by providing an incomparable product coupled with exceptional customer satisfaction.”

Hmmm.